You Never Know

You never know when you’re going to change someone’s life or perspective.  You never know when an utterance of an idea or a comment will shift someone’s directive forever.  Perhaps you have found out years later how passive words or thoughts had changed someone’s life as you reflected on it years later with them not even remembering when or how you said it, simply that you did. 

I know how human I am.  How often I fuck up or say something stupid.  That I occur in ways that is opposite to the truth of my soul.  For those of you who don’t really know me may find it hard to believe that I’m actually quite shy, sometimes definitely awkward.  For those who deeply know me, know my shy nature, know that beyond my laughter and joy, exuberance and excitement, there is deepness and seriousness.  But to see me galavant across the Universe, you may not know that about me.  Just like you may not know how your words and thoughts changed my life or how my thoughts and words perhaps changed yours.

On my 2nd visit to the Miami/Ft. Lauderdale area, I stayed with my friends Alon and Yonit and their brood of 4 kids, aged 11-18. I had challenged each of the kids in the family I was staying with to begin forming healthy habits.  It was the one place that they were struggling.  I suggested that they wake up each morning and make their bed.  I had heard that if one makes their bed, it is the beginning to changing and forming new habits.  This suggestion ended up having a ripple effect on everything.  It was the 3^rd morning of this practice, and I asked, who had made their bed that morning- all of the kids raised their hands.  I was floored.  They were actually taking what I was saying and implementing it.  In terms of healthier eating, I had said simply make better choices than you did yesterday.  It didn’t have to be huge change, just a step by step change.  Again, when asked who had made better choices, they all raised their hands.  I had also chatted about doing 10 jumping jacks when met with unhealthy desires instead of giving in.  It was a technique to re-wire one’s brain to meet that trigger or craving in a different way.  I had volunteered the information so that the mother of the children would be privy to everything I was telling or informing her children, her friend happened to be sitting by her.  (They were her children after all.)  Little did I know how far that statement would reach.  The words that had spilled from my mouth was now rippling out into the word.  I didn’t know it at that moment, but those words offered solace to someone dealing with addiction.  I didn’t know it, but those words that spilled from my mouth were cascading change. 

 “Tovah, thank you for helping my friend.” 

“For what?” I asked.  I honestly didn’t know how I had helped. 

“Trust me,” Yonit responded, “you helped.”  I laughed and said you’re welcome not even knowing for what.  “My friend,” she told me, “was at the airport, and instead of drinking, she took your advice and did jumping jacks instead.  You, you did that.  You were like a fairy angel this weekend who just flew in to help everyone.”  I was touched. Humbled.  Amazed.

I always hope I’m making positive differences in other’s lives.  That the words and actions I say have a positive influence on the world around me.  It is one of the “4 Agreements” that I hold to dearly- Be impeccable with your word because our word is a contract with the Universe and the people in our lives.  Our words can either lift someone up, positively change them, or leave them hurt or scarred.  It always surprises me how people take others for granted, slay them with their words, hurt others so carelessly with their actions.

It is my blessing and intention to us all that our words cascade out into the world, flooding those around us with joy, goodness, and positive change.  Be aware of your words, your actions, your way of interacting with the world around you.  When you look in the mirror or lay your head upon your pillow at night, are you happy with that person? Does your inner beauty glow outward? Does sleep come quickly from an untroubled mind? Who do you want to be on this planet? Be that person. 

I left, my heart full and happy.  Miami/ Ft. Lauderdale area, I will be coming back to you.  And as I travel, these moments will stay in my heart and consciousness forever.  I can make a difference.  I have the power to create positive change.  And so do you.

…And so shall it be.